Healing the wounds
by Lina-Neko
Summary: Akatsuki kidnaps Haruno Sakura for her to become their medic. Will she be able to soften their hearts? A weird Hidasaku fic with humor. My first fic. More pairings later. Under Revision.
1. Mission failed

AN: Please don't be hard on me. This is my first fic. I like Hidasaku (don't love... yet)

Edited: 27th of September '09. The chapter makes a lot more sense now and is a bit longer than before, and it includes a battle.

Time: After time-skip (after Asuma dies) (Edit: though Kakuzu is still alive which I will explain later on)

Rating: T for swearing and minor situations.

**Bold-Thinking**

**IS: - inner Sakura talking**

_Anything in Italics - flashback_

"talking" - talking

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto (only in my dreams).

* * *

Sakura was jumping from branch to branch as fast as she could, intent on escaping the three-bladed scythe being thrown at her. Looking back she mentally swore.

**Shit.**

She looked behind her and saw that the violet eyed akatsuki FREAK was gaining on her.

**Double Shit.**

She really wished she had got a different mission now.

* * *

_Sakura knocked on the door to the Hokage's office, apprehensive about being on another mission so soon after the last one. As she entered she noticed Tsunade standing at the window before said woman turned to face Sakura._

_With a jolt Sakura saw that Tsunade's face was extremely serious, lines that usually didn't show appearing on her otherwise tireless face._

_Tsunade sighed. She knew that her apprentice would be unhappy about the upcoming mission._

"_Come in."_

"_You called Tsunade-shishou"._

"_Hai. Sakura. I have a mission for you, or more specifically you will be joining a few… well… special teams for the upcoming mission."_

_Sakura after quickly analyzing her words was startled by the implications. Her, joining ANBU teams on a mission._

"_These ANBU teams are going on a special reconnaissance mission involving Akatsuki. They are going to attempt capturing a pair. You and a few other medics are going to be stationed along the north-eastern border, due to the nature of this particular pair."_

"_Whom are we talking about?"_

"_The most recently discovered pair, one which we know quite a lot about, thanks to their near defeat at hands of Shikamaru, Kakashi, Ino, Chouji and Naruto. In other words, Hidan and Kakuzu."_

_**Well that explains why we need medics.**_

_**IS: Yeah probably for the murdering bastards as well as ANBU.**_

_**That's quite a disturbing thought, that even ANBU might have problems against them.**_

_Tsunade interrupted the mental conversation by handing Sakura four scrolls."_

"_These are the mission details and you should bring the three extras to your fellow medics. Explain the situation to them as discreetly as possible I don't want Akatsuki to be tipped off about this mission."_

_Sakura turned to go briefly glancing at the names on the scrolls to determine where she was headed to._

"_Oh and before you go, there has been a rumour that Kakuzu has gained some more hearts. Expect injuries from burns to bust organs."_

_Sakura groaned.__** That complicates just about everything. Not that I wasn't going to be prepared.**_

_**IS: Oh really?**_

_Sakura decided it wasn't worth fighting with herself. She wouldn't win anyway.

* * *

_

Thinking back on that conversation hurt, now that Sakura knew she was going to die. The crazy masochistic arsehole had appeared out of nowhere surprising the medics in their preparations, slaughtered the other three and was now chasing after Sakura. They were currently racing towards Konoha as fast as her feet could carry her.

**I'm done for. **She realised with a sinking feeling. Konoha was still hours away and Hidan was slowly catching up, and the scythe was only missing her by centimeters, and in some cases millimeters.

Reflecting on this instant distracted her and she failed to notice the scythe coming straight for her head from behind until the last moment. Oddly enough, the blades weren't facing her way, something she had failed to notice before, yet the pole to which they were attached to still hit her head with a hollow _thunk_ and her world went mercifully black.

Her mission had failed before it had even begun.

Hidan looked at the girl (she _seriously _couldn't be called a woman) lying at his feet.

She was small, probably only 5.3, her pink locks spread around her.

There was _something _about her, _something _that just completely pissed him off, not nearly enough as much as Kakuzu did, and in addition he couldn't fucking well kill her.

"Stupid bubblegum-haired bitch!"

He chucked her over his shoulder, frowning. She was surprisingly heavy for being a tiny bitch.

"Stupid mission."

* * *

_Kakuzu had unceremoniously dragged Hidan into 'the office' aka Pein's little hideout. Hidan was screaming his head off about Kakuzu interrupting his ritual, as per usual and Kakuzu was ignoring him, as per usual. _

_Pein sighed, he really didn't have time for this. "Hidan shut up." Surprisingly it worked, though for other reasons than expected. Kakuzu had sown Hidan's mouth shut._

_Pein reminded himself to give Kakuzu a reward someday for putting up with the religious idiot. Clearing his throat he set about explaining their next mission to them._

"_Recently I obtained information about a supposed Ambush for you two. Two ANBU teams will be defending your next bounty, although they will be disguised as normal civilian guards. They have a medic team on Konoha's border to back them up. One of you will distract the ANBU with assistance from another pair, and one of you will go to the medics and kill all of them except one. This one you have to knock unconscious and kidnap. She should be easy enough to spot, as she has pink hair. I leave it up to you to decide which other team goes with you, and who kidnaps the girl."_

_Feeling accomplished at keeping a meeting that included Hidan shorter than ten minutes (although not by his own hand), Pein exited the room leaving the two to their inevitably following Argument.

* * *

_

Unfortunately Hidan had drawn the short straw in having to kidnap the girl, though there was some divine retribution.

Itachi and Kisame weren't at headquarters, and neither was Zetsu, the only people left had been Deidara and Tobi, who as a consequence had to join Kakuzu in their impromptu mission_._

As he had thought, divine justice.

Chuckling ,whilst thinking of Kakuzu's annoyance at having two loud annoying idiots to deal with, Hidan jumped into the trees carrying Akatsuki's unfortunate captive away with him.

* * *

AN: Ok. Edited to become hopefully more realistic, in case anyone reads this I am editing all the chapters, and the hiatus is going to be lifted soon. I'll be editing one or two chapters a day, and after they are all edited the next chapter will be published.

An unfortunate side-effect of revising this story is that it might become less funny.

_Lina_


	2. Medic?

AN: I tried to update as soon as possible. It's longer so I hope you people like it.

Time: After time-skip (after Asuma dies).

Rating: T for swearing and minor situations.

**Bold-Sakura Thinking**

**H: Hidan thinking**

**IS: - inner Sakura talking**

_Anything in Italics - flashback_

"talking" - talking

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto there would be a lot more girls.

* * *

Review responses: 

Gaaraluvababe: thank you I really need the encouragement!!!

JenKonoha: oh sorry about that. I decided to put it like that because other people usually use that measurement type but I have NOO idea how it works. But thanks anyway.

* * *

---- Akatsuki Hideout ---- 

The albino jashinist went through the barrier to the main Akatsuki Headquarters and walked up the stairs to the door with a red cloud on it. He opened the door with one hand while steadying to pink headed girl in his arms with the other. The Akatsuki Leader looked up from his papers and smirked.

"So you got her."

"Yes I fucking well did you fucking moron. Take her or I'm dumping her in your room"

"Well about that… it was decided that she would be sleeping in your room."

"WHAT! Why the hell in MY ROOM. Fuck it, I'm not having this. WHERE would she sleep I've only got one shitty bed you bastard, and my ritual will probably scare the living daylights out of her."

"About tha-"

"Why can't the slut fucking stay with Itachi or girly boy. You've always fucking said that they were more responsible and loyal-"

"-HIDAN! SHUT up and let me talk."

"…"

"Good! Now the reason she'll be staying in your room and not Itachi's or Deidara's is simple. Sakura was one of the people who helped kill Sasori so Deidara absolutely loathes her, and Itachi doesn't want a girl from Konoha to know that he is almost blind."

"But I thought she's gonna be our medic?"

Pein felt a migraine beginning to form.

"Yes she is but she could still leak valuable information to Konoha or worse Orochimaru. Of course we could always move Itachi to Your room and move the girl into ita-"

**H:****NO fucking way am I having that creepy guy in my room.**

"-Fine she can stay in my room, but where is she going to fucking sleep?"

"In your bed of course."

"NO FUCKING WAY I'M NOT GIVING HER MY B-"

"-HIDAN I DIDN'T SAY THAT!"

"…"

Pein sighed.

"You will have to sleep in the same bed as her, just don't touch her."

"As if I fucking would."

"…oh, and let her clean up the kitchen and go shopping with her."

"Why?"

"Because I'm sick of Ramen, the kitchen stinks and she'll need clothes. Now go away I have work to do."

"Can't she just fucking wear Konan's clothes?"

"No. Konan already said no."

"Oh fuck it all I'm going."

As Hidan left the leader of Akatsuki groaned and put his hands on his head.

**I wonder when he'll stop ****giving me migraines.**

* * *

Sakura opened her eyes to a dull light and a disgusting stench… like puked blood, and as she looked around to see where she was she nearly did puke. Lying around the room were blood-covered weapons and on the floor was a blood-covered man with his guts poking out of his stomach. 

(AN: My aunt was a nurse and she said that the most horrible smell in a hospital was puked blood).

"Oh so the little kunoichi has finally woken up. Took you long enough."

Sakura snapped her eyes to the ceiling where Hidan was sitting in a circle with a triangle in it. After about a minute of her staring and a couple of groans of the man on the floor he stabbed himself in the heart. Sakura's eyes widened as the man on the floor stopped breathing, but as she moved to help him she (finally), noticed that her arms were bound to a bed… which she was sitting on.

The kunoichi glared at the priest who was hanging off the ceiling upside down.

"Why did you kill him? He did nothing to you as far as I can see."

"He was a sacrifice to Jashin."

"Who?"

"The god I serve. Jashin."

"Forget I asked. Anyway where am I?"

"Akatsuki Headquarters. You've been brought here to become our medic nin."

"And why should I become you people's medic?"

"Because otherwise we will have to use torture to make you."

"See if I care."

**IS: YEAAAH! Show it to the motherfucker.**

"Shut up you slut! I'm probably not gonna be the one torturing you, Deidara might want to, or maybe Leader will sic Itachi on you."

"Hey I'm not a slut and I bet I could run away from this place in a couple of days.

**IS: Cha!!! We will sooo kick his butt for saying we're a slut.**

**Yeah right but first I need to get the ropes off. **

Sakura struggled to get the bonds off but failed miserably. Hidan seeing her failed efforts smirked.

"Those bonds completely seal your chakra. It would have been annoying for you to be able to use any jutsu so I put those on you.

Sakura struggled a bit more but soon gave up.

**IS: Heh get him to trust us so he'll take the ropes off and then we'll get him.**

**Good plan.**

The pink-haired girl stiffened as she saw him drop off the ceiling still dripping blood everywhere, she was however surprised as she saw him reach under the bed and bring a chain with a manacle and a first aid box out. He then reached towards the ropes and untied them.

Sakura felt the rush of chakra and immediately tried to punch him but instead he dodged it and put the manacle on. The kunoichi felt the difference and fell limp.

**Crap. The chain must do the same thing as the ropes.**

**IS: Oh well kick his butt without cha-**

Sakura abruptly cut off her conversation with Inner Sakura as Hidan yanked the chain hard enough for her to yelp.

"Hey Bitch get up. You have to bandage me"

"Oh yeah. Why should I?"

"Because I will cause you a lot of fucking pain if you don't."

"…Fine. But you could have asked NICELY!"

**H: I** **can quote on that.**

"Ahem. I quote: 'Why should I'."

Hidan had imitated her voice in a very sissy like way which really annoyed Sakura.

"Oh shut up you fag."

"YOU fucking shut up and just bandage the wound."

She complied, not wanting to annoy him further and bust her chances of escape.

She completed bandaging him and stood up. Hidan grunted and felt his stomach through his bandages.

"Not a bad job."

"Thanks."

The priest then took the chain in his hand and dragged her out of the room.

"Hey… err Hidan."

"Hn?"

**IS: Oh please don't start the Sasuke-faggot tradition it's sooo annoying.**

**I agree.**

"Well where are we going?"

"The kitchen. You're gonna clean and cook a little when you don't need to heal."

"WHAT?"

"Don't fucking complain to me. Complain to Leader. But anyway Our kitchen is really dirty and most of the food is out of date so I'll have to fucking take you shopping as well."

**WOOHOO!!! Shopping! **

**IS: Maybe he can buy us some clothes **

Hidan walked on a bit before stopping in front of a wooden door.

"Oh. We're here."

He opened the door and as Sakura looked inside her mouth fell open in shock and horror.

* * *

AN: Cliffhanger!!! Please don't kill me. I shall update soon.

Oh Yeah I used a mixture of slang and normal English which is really weird.

R&R Please.

_Lina_


	3. Cleaning

AN:ARRGH I UPDATED REALLY LATE. Read explanation at the bottom.

Time: After time-skip (after Asuma dies).

Rating: T for swearing and minor situations.

**Bold-Sakura Thinking**

**H: Hidan thinking**

**IS: - inner Sakura talking**

_Anything in Italics - flashback_

"talking" – talking

Disclaimer: ... I'm not going to bother.

* * *

Review answers: 

JenKonoha: Thanks

potterandanimelover: Woohoo! More encouragement.

venG: I just have.

Yami Kami: Thanks Sasha.

Leilani Daniels: good idea but Sakura hasn't met Zetsu yet.

naruto-ddrchamp: Thanks. I hope you like it.

Crazy Neko Girl: kitchen... hmm...Cough-disgusting-cough!

* * *

Sakura stared with an open mouth at the vile kitchen. 

The ceiling was covered with dirt, blood and other stuff she didn't want to think about. Next she swept her horrified gaze to the floor, which she couldn't see under the piles of takeaway bags, rubbish and foul food, and the (barely visible) kitchen table (which was covered in MORE rubbish AND was crawling with rats).

Sakura's legs buckled when she saw the slime in the sink actually moving, and all the mould clinging to the wall accompanied by holes and cracks.

**IS: This is disgusting. I feel sick.**

**I agree.**

While trying to stabilize herself the pink-haired kunoichi barely noticed Hidan blabbering and swearing about the state of the kitchen.

"Hell! What the fuck is wrong with you bitch?"

"S-sorry but a-aren't you shocked by the state of your kitchen?" Sakura said, gagging because of the foul odor that wafted up towards her.

"Of course I fucking am. It's tidier than befo-."

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN TIDIER! THIS IS WORSE THAN NARUTO'S APARTMENT AND DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO ACHIEVE THAT."

Sakura shouted it all in Hidan's face, who looked shocked and a little scared.

"S-shit you don't have to freak out like that."

"WHY THE FUCK SHOULDN'T I? FROM WHAT YOU'VE TOLD ME, I, HAVE TO CLEAN UP THIS M-."

"OH, JUST SHUT UP ALREADY I'LL HELP YOU! OK? BUT JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!

"…"

"Good. Now as I was fucking saying, while you were knocked out, shitass leader's friend Konan told me that I had to help you so where should we start?"

"Erm… I think we should start with the floor. Do you have any bin liners?"

"Yeah Leader gave me a roll. Here."

"Ok… so can you kill the rats with as little blood and mess as possible?"

Sure."

"Ok let's start."

* * *

Half and hour later… 

"HIDAN!"

"What?"

"I SAID KILL THEM WITH AS LITTLE MESS AS POSSIBLE, AND NOW YOU'RE SPLATTERING THEM AROUND AND MAKING MORE MESS! JUST USE NINJA SPEED CATCH THEM AND BREAK THEIR NECKS!"

"FINE BITCH!"

"FOR THE LAST TIME MY NAME IS NOT BITCH!" Sakura shouted and punched Hidan really, really hard.

CRASH!!! There was now a three inch dent in the wall.

"Owwwwww! You bitch! Why the hell did you do that?!? I think you broke a couple of fucking ribs."

"BECAUSE YOU KEPT CALLING ME A BITCH NOW STAND OUTSIDE WHILE I DO THIS OR ELSE I'M CHOPPING YOU TO BITS AND THROWING YOU IN WITH THE OTHER RUBBISH!"

While Sakura was shouting this, she took his scythe, which was leaning against the wall and waved it in front of his face.

"Hai, hai! I'll just be standing outside but if you dare run away I will get handcuffs and handcuff you to deidara who currently hates your guts.

**As if we could run away I mean these are the Akatsuki headquarters right?**

**IS: Just kick all their asses.**

**Nah! While I'm here I'll spy on them.**

**IS: Not a bad idea!**

* * *

3 hours later… 

"Oi! Hidan! You can come in now."

As Hidan pushed his way past he rubbish bags in the hall, he gaped at the sparklingly clean kitchen, with all the dishes washed, a clean floor, no holes in the wall, a WHITE ceiling and an empty rubbish bin.

"… oh my fucking god!!!"

"You like it?"

"How the hell did you do this?"

**H: I've never seen it this clean.**

"Well I just did everything bit by bit, but I'm really tired now."

"Fine. It's late! We'll go shopping tomorrow after you've met some of the other members."

"Which members exactly?"

"Erm… well definitely my partner Kakuzu, and err... everyone who shows up in the kitchen.

"Oh yeah anyway what food in the kitchen wasn't mangy except the milk?"

"… the spices and the salt."

"Oh fuck!!! Kakuzu's gonna murder us if we have to restock the whole kitchen AND buy your clothes.

"Well sorry but it isn't MY fault you guys haven't restocked your kitchen in years."

"Oh shut up. We'll fucking sort it out tomorrow.

"Fine… wait where am I going to sleep?"

"… with me."

"Oh no! I'm NOT sleeping with you in your bed.

"I COULD chain you to the wall or dump you in a shitty dungeon.

Sakura groaned. She knew he had the upper hand with her being tired and weak from chakra drainage ( and cleaning).

"Fine I'll sleep in your bed, but don't come near me.

"Fine. As if I would want to."

* * *

They walked on a bit until they came to Hidan's door, and stepped in. 

"What am I supposed to wear?"

Hidan shrugged.

"You can borrow some shorts and a shirt." Hidan said while searching under his bed for the aforementioned clothes.

"Here." The violet eyed man said while handing Sakura some clothes.

" You can change in the bathroom." He said waving to an almost concealed door on the other side of the room.

While Sakura was in the bathroom Hidan quickly changed and threw the dead man's corpse out of his room where Zetsu would collect him sometime later…

* * *

**IS: Oh my god his room is sooo ugly and smelly.**

**Yeah.**

**IS: I have an idea… why don't we 'decorate' his room tomorrow after asking some other members if they have paint.**

**Hmm. That might just work but we'll make sure he's on a mission first.**

**IS: ok.**

* * *

When Sakura came back into the room, Hidan was already lying on one side of the bed facing the wall and sleeping soundly. 

The pink haired kunoichi settled herself as far possible away from him without falling off the bed and soon fell asleep.

* * *

AN: Sorry it took me a couple of days to update but I have to learn for upcoming tests this week but then I'll have three weeks holiday and will update much more. 

Next chapter: Awkward positions and meeting other members

Any funny scenes you want to put in just review or send a private message.

R&R

_Lina_


	4. akward positions and meeting others

AN: Hello people! I officially have holidays now so there will be much quicker updates and don't forget to send me any funny scenes ideas if possible.

Time: After time-skip (after Asuma dies).

Rating: T for swearing and minor situations.

**Bold-Sakura Thinking**

**H: Hidan thinking**

**IS: - inner Sakura talking**

_Anything in Italics - flashback_

"talking" – talking

* * *

Review responses:

potterandanimelover:

gaaraluvababe: No I didn't get it. Sorry.

JenKonoha: I agree. That's why I'm writing one.

Yami Kami: Thanks Sascha.

craziness101: I can't promise you that it will happen in this chapter… might though.

* * *

Disclaimer: 'sighs' If I kill Masashi Kishimoto the rights to Naruto probably wouldn't go to me so I won't (kill him).

* * *

Hidan slowly woke up and found that he was… warm? His still fuzzy with sleep eyes opened and he noticed that the warmth came from something that was cuddled into his chest… something… pink.

As the memories of yesterday came flooding into his mind he pushed Sakura away from him and pressed himself against the wall.

**H: I f she had woken up before me, all my ribs would be broken and the others would never let me live it down. Jeez! Judging by the position she's in now she would have been cuddled into my chest… Now I really think I was lucky to wake up before her.**

Hidan slowly got up trying not to disturb her and looked at his alarm.

**H: Damn it's really early. I only have to get us to breakfast at like eight and it's fucking five. Gah! I'll have a fucking shower. I haven't had one for weeks. **

**(AN****: Eurgh!)**

1 hour later

Hidan was officially bored to death (AN: no pun intended). The reasons were:

1. "The slut" as he called her, was still in happy and sappy dreamland so he had to be quiet, or risk an annoyed teenage girl (not that he cared).

2. Everyone else was asleep and he really didn't want to deal with Tobi, Deidara, Itachi or Kakuzu at six in the morning.

And… finally… 3. There was nothing to do in the Akatsuki headquarters, because Kakuzu wouldn't let them buy anything for amusement.

* * *

Sakura slowly opened her eyes to find herself in a foreign room with blood all over it. As she looked around remembering the events of the day before the kunoichi looked around for Hidan and spotted him… mumbling incoherent swearwords at the wall.

"Morning."

"Huh?" Hidan was muttering and looked very dazed.

"Oh. You're finally up."

"What do you mean with FINALLY? It's only… six."

"Fuck you! I've been up since five."

"… seriously why did you bother getting up so early?"

(AN: I used to get up at five to read fanfiction and all my friends asked me that.)

"It wasn't my fucking fault! I just accidentally woke up before the alarm went off."

"Ok, ok. Stop complaining already. I'm gonna go shower."

With that Sakura stomped off to the bathroom, only to come back out and ask Hidan for towels and other clothes to change into.

**H: Fuck! That was one of my last shirts. I hope Kakuzu lets her buy a weeks supply of clothes because either me or the moneylover will be stuck with an annoying gifted-with-human-strength kunoichi. Preferably Kakuzu.**

In the bathroom…

Sakura was currently discussing

**IS: So how should we organize his bedroom? Steal money to buy paint?**

**Nah I'll ask this Kakuzu guy whoever he is.**

**IS: And if that fails?**

**We steal it from Hidan or someone else.**

**IS 'smirks': Good. Soooo anyway what color do you think would suit him?**

… **violet or maybe pink.**

**IS: Hmm! I know Pink and violet stripes!!!**

**Hell yeah! Then we would get both colors.**

Sakura continued cackling as she finished her shower and stepped into the bathroom to towel-dry her hair, and get dressed.

* * *

At about eight …

Hidan was pulling Sakura along with him as they went to the kitchen for breakfast. Both of them were silent until…

"Hidan?"

"Hm."

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Because otherwise leader would moan at me and the others would say that I couldn't even look after a girl."

"Oh."

* * *

As they walked through the kitchen door they saw two people sitting at the table eating takeaway.

One Sakura recognized as Deidara, the happy bomber of the Akatsuki… except for the fact that he looked very disgruntled, and as he looked up at her he glared at her as though she were from hell.

The other was a man with brown spiky hair and a strange orange mask. The mask had one eye-hole and there were curving lines leading outwards from the hole to the rim of the mask.

"WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING HERE UN?"

"She's gonna be our medic nin."

"NO WAY!!! SHE'S NOT STAYING HERE!! NOT NOW NOT EVER UN!!"

"SHOVE THE SHIT UP YOUR ASS AND TALK TO FUCKING LEADER ABOUT IT AND QUIT SHOUTING IN THE MORNING!"

From upstairs Pein shouted.

"HIDAN, DEIDARA!!! IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE HELL UP I WILL COME DOWN AND SEND YOU ON BABYSITTING MISSIONS! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP YOU BASTARDS!"

"… ok we'll be quiet un." Deidara whispered.

"Ok you fucking faggot. She's staying here whether you like it or not. Haven't you noticed?"

"What un?"

"The kitchen is fucking clean."

"OMG THE KITCHEN'S CLEAN! WOW UN!"

"Shut up or leader might fucking hear us."

"Erm…could you guys stop ignoring me?" (Sakura)

"No bitch… now where were we…er oh yeah introductions. Bitch this is Deidara whom you obviously know, and the other guy is Tobi Deidara's new partner."

Sakura went forward to shake Tobi's hand.

"Hey… Tobi I'm Saku-"

She was cut off by Tobi suddenly hugging her.

"Helloooooooooooo Sakura-chan, I am Tobi, and Tobi is a good boy.

"Okay… could you get off me now?"

"Sure Tobi will go and eat breakfast in the new kitchen." Tobi latched himself off Sakura and went back to eating his takeaway.

"Anyway Sakura we have to go find fucking Frankenstein to get some money off him or we'll have to ask leader."

"Ok. Bye Tobi. Bye Deidara." Deidara glared daggers at her and looked like he wanted to blow her up.

"Bye Sakura-chan."

"Oh just hurry the fuck up already!" Hidan started walking along the corridor to find 'Frankenstein's' room dragging sakura along with him on the chain.

(AN: yes Hidan hasn't taken it off her because he doesn't want her to have any possibilities to escape).

"Fine Bastard!"

"Shut up whore!"

"I told you to stop calling me a slut, bitch or a whore!"

"I don't care bitch."

"Then I'll make you care!" Sakura punched Hidan's already damaged ribs, which he had clumsily bandaged, making 3 more break.

"OWWWWWWWWW! FUCKING HELL THAT HURT YOU FUCKING BITCH! HEAL IT OR SOMETHING IT FUCKING HURTS! AAAARGH!" Hidan was squealing the house down and thrashing around in sheer pain.

A new voice was heard from the end of the corridor. "HIDAN! Stop shouting you religious prick and tell me who the hell that girl is and what she's doing here."

Hidan didn't listen to the guy wearing a mask and… strange clothes (plus the Akatsuki cloak), but continued squealing until Kakuzu (yes we all know it's Kakuzu), sewed up his mouth with a black thread (tentacle) that emanated from somewhere beneath his Akatsuki cloak.

* * *

Sakura stared in shock at the weird guy.

**IS: THAT IS SOOOOOOO GROCE!!!  
**

**He has TENTACLES AND A REALLY CRAPPY MASK!**

**IS: HE HAS A DESPERATE NEED FOR A FASHION MAKEOVER!!!**

"Hidan get up, stop squirming, and answer my question!"

**H: WHY SHOULD I YOU FUCKING PRICKHEADED ANNOYING MONEYLOVING BASTARD!!!**

"MMMPHMMMMFWUUCKIGMMMMPHBAFWARD!!!"

Kakuzu translates Hidan's obvious cursing to: FUCKING BASTARD!!!

"Shut up and I'll take the stitches out, or I can just chop off your head."

"HUMPHFIWNE." Hidan stood up and waited patiently while Kakuzu let the thread flow back under his cloak.

"Now you stupid prick tell me why a girl is wearing your clothes and a chain around her hand and is with you."

"… she's our new medic, and on orders from idiot leader I have to look after her, and Konan won't lend pinky any clothes."

"Hellooo!!! Stop talking like I'm not here!"

"Shut up!" both men said almost simultaneously then glared at each other.

"Anyway we need to take pinky shopping for clothes and groceries as she's cleaned up the kitchen. So… can you give me some money?"

"Depends on how much."

"About $500."

"NO WAY!"

"I can call leader and tell him about most of those bounties that you never gave him."

"… fine. But I have to come along to check how much you spend."

"Err… you guys can we just get going. These clothes are really uncomfortable."

"I guess you clothes would be uncomfortable."

"Shut up money grabber."

* * *

And so they set off towards the nearest town, the albino and the tentacle-freak arguing while their companion wisely kept silent.

* * *

AN: My longest (but really crappy), chapter. I will put the next chapter up tomorrow or on Tuesday.

Next chapter: shopping

_Lina_


	5. shopping

AN: I don't believe it. When I woke up I had seven reviews on the last chapter.

Oh yeah and Kakuzu is alive in this story. He is desperately needed for this story so he was NOT killed. For confused people ok.

Time: After time-skip (after Asuma dies).

Rating: T for swearing and minor situations.

**Bold-Sakura Thinking**

**H: Hidan thinking**

**K: Kakuzu thinking**

**IS: - inner Sakura talking**

_Anything in Italics - flashback_

"talking" – talking

* * *

Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me. 'cries'

* * *

On with the story…

Hidan, Kakuzu and Sakura had arrived at a small town and were currently on the outskirts with sakura trying to correct Kakuzu's female transformation (AN: the song 'I'm an ugly girl' describes his transformation).

"ARRRGH! GET THE BEARD AWAY!" (Sakura)

"Why? Don't women have beards?" (Kakuzu)

"NO, YOU FOOL! MAKE THE HAIR SHINIER, LONGER AND SILKY!" (Sakura)

"FINE HE'LL DO IT! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!" (Hidan)

"Ok! Now you just have to make the eyes and mouth look human and you'll be fine."

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY MOUTH?" (Kakuzu)

"… It looks like a rag dolls mouth so make it look like a normal girl's and your eyes have got to have EYELASHES!"

**K: Stupid witch. Why do I have to buy clothes for her anyway? She can just wear Hidan's. They look ok on her.**

Kakuzu retransformed with all the descriptions Sakura had given him and now looked passable… as a Tomboy.

"Passable. Now… Hidan lets see your transformation."

Hidan transformed into a middle-aged, white-haired and blue-eyed man that looked like he was constipated.

Sakura took one look at him and burst into laughter the same time as (he-she), Kakuzu did.

"What's so fucking funny?" Hidan looked even more constipated as he tried to look pissed.

"I said WHAT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY?"

Sakura, holding back tears of laughter replied as evenly as she could. "Y-your face l-looks like y-yo-."

"She means you look constipated Hidan." Kakuzu was smirking and holding in his laughter.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN?"

"Well obviously you tried to transform into a normal human but failed miserably. It probably comes from your silly religion." (Kakuzu)

"MY RELIGION IS NOT SILLY!!!"

"Oh shut up Hidan. Make your person's face look like an older version of Asuma's." Sakura tried to describe what she thought was an old man's face.

"Asuma's?"

"That Konoha shinobi we killed." Kakuzu reminded him.

"Ohhhhhhhhh!_Him_."

"Yes Him, now do it." Sakura ordered him

The priest of Jashin transformed again and this time looked like a perfectly boring middle-aged man.

Sakura analyzed him then declared him passable, and transformed herself into an eighteen-year old black-haired girl with three piercings.

"You're done so can we fucking GO now."

"Okay."

The three set off into the town trying to find a market and a clothes store.

* * *

After about ten minutes Kakuzu spotted what _looked_ like a cheap clothes store.

"Hey you two. This shop looks cheap so were going in here."

"If it's cheap then it'll have crappy clothes and I want PROPER clothes."

"Kakuzu stop being such a crappy and greedy money-loving fucking dickhead."

"Shut up pretty boy!" (credit for that goes to my friend)

"STOP ARGUING!!! I WANT SOME CLOTHES, AND NOT THESE SMELLY ONES I'M WEARING, NOW!"

Both men abruptly stopped and looked at her to see if she wanted to say anything else, but as she had finished, they silently went into the store.

In the store as Kakuzu quickly looked at the prices it immediately became clear that the store was NOT cheap. The price for one kimono was $600, and their deadline for price was $500… including the food.

"WE ARE NOT SHOPPING HERE!"

"Why not?"

"IT'S TOO EXPENSIVE!" Kakuzu looked like he was going to have a heart attack PLUS his voice had gone squeaky like a pig's (no offence to pigs, they just squeal really high).

Sakura whined, "But these Kimonos are really pretty and look comfortable too."

"GAH! NO! We're NOT BUYING THEM! They cost waaaaaaaaay to much!"

"QUIT BEING A STINGE AND BUY ME AT LEAST ONE!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

The shopkeeper, (an old lady whom they hadn't noticed up till now), interrupted them.

"Can I make you an offer?"

"How much money does it involve?" (Obviously Kakuzu)

"Depends how many outfits you want to buy."

"How about six and some pyjamas."

"ARG-!"

"About $300 at a bargain price, but only out of a selection. This one here."

The woman led them to the back of the store which showed an array of beautiful clothes.

* * *

Half an hour later

Sakura had picked three beautiful kimonos, various underwear (she blushed when Hidan spotted it), two pairs of jeans with matching violet and blue t-shirts and was still deciding what else to buy. One of the kimonos was red with pink cherry blossoms decorating it and a green obi, the second one was a light purple with a dark purple swirls design and a pink obi, and the third one was silver, with a golden dragon and a white obi.

"Hey!" Hidan shouted. "I found something nice."

Hidan was holding a... lets say provocative maid's outfit.

"NO! We are NOT buying that."

"The young woman is right about that. It does not belong to the special offers section, although it _would_look good on her."

Hidan put on a sulking face.

"Excuse me sir but aren't you a little too old to be shopping with these ladies?" (remember Kakuzu looks like a girl and Hidan is a middle-aged man)

"What the fu-" Kakuzu trod on Hidan's toe signalling him to be quiet.

Sakura had gone back to choosing outfits, and had now picked one red sleeveless top, and one black pair of sweatpants.

**IS: Get something **_**really**_** sexy as pyjamas.**

**Why?**

**IS: To annoy hottie.**

**WHO?**

**IS: Come on and admit it. Hidan is hot.**

**N****ot.**

**IS: Is too.**

**Is not.**

**IS: Is too.**

**Is not.**

**IS: Is too.**

**Is not.**

They were snapped out of their thoughts by Hidan who was waving his hand in front of her face.

"Huh?"

"Hey. Wake up! You've been staring at that fucking rack for the last five minutes. It was getting fucking creepy."

"Oh… I'll take these as well."

The medic nin was holding up some pyjamas that consisted of some knee-length shorts and a black tank top.

"Altogether that should be about $280."

"Kakuzu?"

"Humph. Fine."

Kakuzu opened his wallet and handed over the correct amount, while Sakura and Hidan took the bags into which the clothes had been put.

"Thank you. Come again."

Before sakura could walk out she asked the woman for directions to a market, which the woman gladly gave.

At the market, Sakura was buying food left right and centre. Among them were ingredients for ratatouille, spaghetti bolognaise, lasagne, an English breakfast, barbecue and a variety of other dishes.

"Can we go now? We bought enough fucking food to last us a month."

"NO! We still need fresh fruit, vegetables, chocolate, sweets and drinks."

"Fine. But hurry up, or Kakuzu's gonna have a heart attack with you spending so much."

"Greedy prick."

* * *

Sometime later sakura had bought all she needed to make decent meals.

Kakuzu almost murdered her when he saw the total cost but Hidan held him off while they set off towards the Akatsuki headquarters again.

* * *

AN: That was longish chapter. I hope you like it. I did it in a hurry.

Thanks goes to JenKonoha who has reviewed every chapter of this story and also to Leilani Daniels who gave me the idea for the first kimono.

I thank all that reviewed me:

potterandanimelover

moonlightmama

Leilani Daniels

Yami Kami

pheonix5600

Teagarden

JenKonoha

I don't like flames but I accept them.

_Lina_


	6. Decorating

AN: Thank you for waiting for me to update. Is my story really that funny?

Time: After time-skip (after Asuma dies).

Rating: T for swearing and minor situations.

**Bold-Sakura Thinking**

**H: Hidan thinking**

**P: Pein thinking**

**IS: - inner Sakura talking**

_Anything in Italics - flashback_

"talking" – talking

Disclaimer: Why should I say it?

Review responses

moonlightmama: I agree.

potterandanimelover: Thanks!

KeitaPekoe: Is it?

JenKonoha: Hidan is a main attraction… I'm not sure about Kakuzu.

Neko Eclipse: I'll write one when I get an idea for it Ellie.

Mokana-chan: It might happen in later chapters.

anonymous: next one after this is going to come on Monday or Tuesday (Christmas special).

* * *

Let the story commence... 

The day after the shopping, Sakura had asked Hidan for directions to their leader's room and had been flipped off.

After half an hour of wandering around she had met Tobi who had gladly showed her the way to 'sir leader's office'.

Knock, knock.

"Come in."

Sakura walked in

"Erm… hi."

"What do you want?"

Sakura trod nervously from one foot to the other.

"Er… em… well I just wanted to know if I could have some money to erm… redecorate Hidan's room."

"Have you asked Hidan?"

"Not really."

Pein sat back considering her request.

**P: Redecorating Hidan's room would be good for him. **

"Fine. You can have $50, and take Tobi with you." Pein said, handing her the money.

"Thank you." A smiling Sakura said, pleased that it had been so easy to get the money she wanted.

* * *

Sakura had spent half an hour looking for Tobi when he had come in carrying… a bunch of flowers. 

"Tobi. What are the flowers for?"

"For you Sakura-chan. Tobi picked them so you could make the Hideout prettier."

**IS: Hang them up in Hidan's room.**

**Your comments are unwanted.**

"Thank you Tobi. That was kind of you."

"Tobi's pleasure." Tobi started to walk down the corridor, pleased that his 'picking' had been appreciated.

"Before you go Tobi, do you want to go shopping with me?"

"YAAAAAAY! Tobi wants to! Tobi wants to! But Tobi has to ask leader first."

"Don't worry I've already asked him."

* * *

Tobi started hopping up and down in excitement as they set off towards a town (Tobi disguised as a ten-year old and Sakura as her previous transformation). 

The town was different to the one Hidan and Kakuzu had taken her to, but it was also further away from the previous one.

Tobi had grabbed her hand and was pulling her along the streets which were bustling with activity.

"Tobi knows this town. The market is this way." He chanted.

* * *

At the market… 

"What does Sakura-chan want to buy?"

"We'll get you a lollipop first for being so nice and then we'll get what I came here for. Oh and Tobi!"

"Yes Sakura-chan?"

"Could you please not tell anyone about this apart from Leader and Deidara?"

"Ok. Tobi won't tell anyone."

"Good now what flavor lollipop do you want?"

"Strawberry! Tobi wants strawberry!"

"Ok. Could I please have one big strawberry lollipop?" Sakura asked the saleslady of the sweet stand."

"Here." She said handing Tobi a big swirly red lollipop (about the size of a tennis ball). "That would be $1."

Sakura handed the woman the money, received her change, then took Tobi's hand and led him to a hardware shop which she had spotted at the edge of the marketplace.

* * *

As she and Tobi entered a sales-assistant (female), immediately appeared before them and started listing up all sorts of special offers. 

"Err…" Sakura tried to interrupt the annoying blond bimbo (no offence to blondes in general it's just the fan fiction version of a blonde I really hate), but failed miserably.

"The screwdriver sets are on a 20 offer sale and…-!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Why should I? Aren't you interested in our special offers?"

"No. I only came here to buy paint and paintbrushes."

"… b-but won't you buy at least one special offer." She said trying to give Sakura puppy eyes, which in actual fact made her look like a pig.

"No." Sakura made her voice as flat as possible, and Tobi couldn't interrupt her because his lolly was stuck to his mouth.

This time the assistant tried to get Sakura's sympathy with crying about how hard her life was, and she would get beaten, but Sakura wasn't fooled by a fat and annoying bimbo who was trying to sell unneeded crap to her. The kunoichi walked off to an aisle, to find paint for Hidan's room.

Having found the correct aisle sakura looked for a light shade of pink and purple paint.

"What about this one Sakura-chan?" The now unstuck Tobi asked her.

"No that's too bright. I think this dark purple one will do, and the other one that you liked."

"This one?" Tobi asked, holding up a can of neon pink paint.

"Yeah that one. Go find some paintbrushes and then we'll pay."

* * *

At the checkout, the blonde tried to swindle Sakura again only to be disappointed as the kunoichi ignored her and walked straight out, the minute she had paid.

* * *

In the Akatsuki headquarters 

Sakura knew that Hidan had been sent on a mission with Kakuzu (courtesy of leader), so there wouldn't be anyone to stop operation R.H.R (redecorate Hidan's room).

"Come on Tobi. It's time to paint Hidan's room."

"YAY!!! Tobi likes painting."

They started painting everything purple, until Deidara came in… and decided that he could help.

When a drunk Hidan marched into his room at three in the morning, he thought the alcohol had gotten to him and fell asleep without hindrance, but woke up with a headache into a nightmare.

His WHOLE FUCKING ROOM LOOKED LIKE FAIRYTOPIA!!! The whole room was in actual fact a dark purple, covered with little neon pink fairies and beautiful designs, which deidara had painted after walking in on the scheme.

"BITCH!!! WHAT DID YOU DOOOOO?!?" Hidan was screaming at the sleeping Sakura (who woke up),

"WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO MAKE YOU DO THIS?"

"…" A sleepy Sakura looked dazedly at his face.

"ANSWER!"

"Your room was ugly." The statement threw Hidan completely off balance as he tried to comprehend it, but it eventually overloaded his brain and he fainted.

Sakura stared at him.

**IS: Well that was unexpected.**

* * *

AN: This chapter is dedicated to Neko Eclipse as a b-day present. The next chapter will be the first chapter of the Christmas special. 

R&R

_Lina_


	7. Preparations

AN: This is a Christmas special. This is only part one. Part two will come out tomorrow or the day after.

Time: After time-skip (after Asuma dies).

Rating: T for swearing and minor situations.

**Bold-Sakura Thinking**

**H: Hidan thinking**

**K: Kakuzu thinking**

**IS: - inner Sakura talking**

_Anything in Italics - flashback_

"talking" – talking

* * *

Disclaimer: Owning Naruto was already on my wish list.

* * *

Sakura had been with the Akatsuki for two weeks… and was bored.

Deidara hated her, Tobi was annoying (like Naruto), Hidan woke her up in the mornings and ignored her the rest of the time (because of the paint job in his room), and all the other members were currently on missions, or she just didn't see them.

Currently Sakura was debating with… herself how to improve her situation, as she couldn't be bothered to sleep.

**IS: Man this is boring. I thought life with the Akatsuki would be moreinteresting.**

**I know. The only interesting thing that happened was when Tobi tried to cook.**

_Flashback:_

"_AAAAAH! Tobi is burning! Tobi is burning!" _

"_YOU FOOL UN!" And Tobi was blasted out of the kitchen._

_End flashback. _

**IS: HAHAHAHA! I remember that. It was awesome.**

**So anyway. What should we do about the whole 'I'm bored' issue?**

**IS: Do you know what date it is?**

**No.**

**IS: Idiot!!! It's the 21****st**

**So?**

**IS: It's almost Christmas. **

**OH MY GOD!!! REALLY?**

**IS: Yeah, and I've got an idea what we could do to party.**

**Continue.**

**IS: Well we could ask the leader for money or we could steal some from Kakuzu. We ask Tobi to come shopping with us and get decorations and a present for everyone. **

**Brilliant. I knew I could count on myself. But what presents could we get for them.**

**IS: That's what we need Tobi for, and he's such an idiot that he'll do everything we say AND let us buy whatever we want.**

**Ok. Let's set this plan in action**

With that decision firmly planted in her mind, Sakura fell asleep.

* * *

The next day Sakura had asked Tobi where Kakuzu's room was (she couldn't be asked to beg leader for money), and had gotten vague directions to a plain and annoyingly unblemished door.

His room had been very unlike Hidan's which was messy and covered in blood, instead Kakuzu's room was tidy, plain and almost empty except for a chest of drawers and a bunk bed with a desk below it.

**IS: His room sucks even more than Hidan's if that's possible.**

**It's so… empty.**

**IS: Yeah. I thought it would be filled with money.**

**Yeah. But it has to be somewhere in this room. Right?**

**IS: Sure. Have fun searching for it.**

**I hate you.**

**IS: Same to you.**

* * *

After searching the whole room, Sakura couldn't find any money, and there was nowhere else to look.

**GAH! HE HAS NO MONEY!**

**IS: Where does Hidan keep his stuff?**

**Under his bed, but I already checked, and there wasn't any.**

**IS: GIRL! ARE YOU BLIND OR SOMETHING???**

**No. Itachi is becoming blind though. **

**IS: Didn't you see the floorboard? The loose one?**

**NO, BUT ****WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT BEFORE?**

**IS: I wanted to see if you were as clever as you try to prove you are.**

**Shut. Up. And. Go. Away.**

An extremely annoyed Sakura found several trunks FILLED with money, under the floor, and most of the notes were $100 notes (no coins).

**IS: MONEEEEEEEY!**

**Finally.**

Sakura took about $3000 from one of the suitcases.

**So now we go ask leader if Tobi can go shopping with us and then we go?**

**IS: Yeah.**

Half an hour later, Sakura had asked, and then had been shoved out of Pein's office as fast as possible with the door slamming behind her. At the last moment the kunoichi had still gotten a small 'yes' though, which was enough for her to take Tobi with her.

**IS: SHANNAROO! We can GOOOOOO!!!**

Tobi was in the kitchen with Deidara, Hidan, Kakuzu and a woman whom Sakura didn't recognize, waiting for Sakura to make lunch

"YAAAY! Sakura-chan here so you can meet Konan, leader's partner."

Sakura extended her hand to Konan's one and shook the papery hand quickly.

"Pleased to meet you Konan-san."

"Same to you. Tobi tells me that your food is quite good, so I decided to come and try it." Konan was smiling gently, and sakura felt that she had made a new friend.

* * *

Sakura now addressed the slightly hungry Tobi, telling him about the shopping trip after lunch, while making pancakes.

"Will Sakura-chan buy me another lollipop?"

"Sure I will, but only if you help me carry back the things!"

"Tobi will! Tobi will! Tobi will! Tobi loves lollies!"

"TOBI! SHUT UP Un!" Deidara tried to calm Tobi down, but when words failed…

BOOM!!!

"OOOW! That was mean senpai."

"Just shut up and eat un!"

* * *

After lunch, Tobi and Sakura set off towards a different town than both times before. It was much larger and even had a decent sized mall.

**IS: Perfect for Christmas shopping.**

**Yep. And I bet I can get a decent jacket as well.**

**IS: Why?**

**I'm freezing you idiot.**

**IS: I forgot that it's winter.**

**Baka.**

Sakura was snapped out of her argument with inner Sakura as Tobi pointed out the mall to her.

"Look Sakura-chan! Tobi sees the mall! Does Sakura-chan want to go to the mall?"

"Yes. We might even be able to buy candy canes, as well as your lollipops."

"Hurray for Sakura-chan. You're much nicer than deidara-sempai."

"I should hope so. Deidara always glares at me for no reason."

"but Sakura-chan killed Sasori-san, and senpai was Sasori-san's partner, AND Sakura-chan's friends cut off Deidara-san's arms."

"I guess so… but still."

"You should ignore senpai and just let Tobi talk to him."

"Erm… yeah… can we just go shopping now?"

"Okay sakura-chan."

In the mall, the two shinobi searched for a shop that sold decorations, but only found a sweet shop, various clothes stores, and a supermarket.

Sakura was talking with her inner as Tobi led them out, to find a shop that sold decorations.

**WE LOOKED EVERYWHERE, AND FOUND NOTHING!!!**

**IS: You guys suck.**

**I hope I find a place or- WOOOOW!**

Sakura had just spotted, whilst Tobi had led them out of a different entrance, that they had now arrived at what looked like a Christmas fair.

**IS: Shannarooooooo! It sells Christmas Stuff.**

**Baubles, tinsel, lights, ornaments… yep everything's here that we need.**

**IS: Shopping time.**

* * *

Two hours later Sakura had bought a variety of decorations (I'm too lazy to list them), and with Tobi's help had bought quite a lot of different flavored candy canes and lollypops, as well as hangable gingerbread, liquorice, and (according to Tobi), Deidara's favorite sweet… fudge.

"Well that's done and we only spent $800… so now we can get presents, ok Tobi?"

"PRESENTS!!! What does Sakura-chan want to get Tobi?"

"What do you want?"

"Erm… Tobi wants… Tobi can't think of anything!"

"Don't worry, I'll think of something. I need you to help me with choosing the presents for the others."

"Ok Sakura-chan."

* * *

They went back into the mall, with Tobi explaining the likes and dislikes of some of the members she hadn't met yet.

"…and Zetsu-san likes planty things, but he doesn't like boats, and nobody knows what Itachi-san likes…"

* * *

By the end of the shopping tour, the rosette-haired girl had spent almost $2500, on all of the decorations and the 10 presents for the Akatsuki (one for each of them, and one extra one for the whole organization to share) and the ingredients for their Christmas dinner.

Last but not least on their list (Tobi had several kage bunshin help him carry everything), was the Christmas tree. Sakura chose one which was 3m tall. The kitchen wouldn't have been able to take it, but Sakura had discovered in her two weeks stay, that there _was_a living room at the Akatsuki, but it was only used as a meeting place in case of emergencies.

* * *

The rest of their evening was spent wrapping and hiding the presents in Tobi's room (Sasori's old room), and decorating the living room, and kitchen.

* * *

AN: hope you people liked it, and I'm sorry I took so long and that the ending was so short and so undetailed. I just couldn't stop reading the books I got for Christmas (includes manga).

_Lina_


	8. UPDATE DELAYED!

UPDATE DELAYED!!!

I'm Sorry but the next Chapter won't be coming too soon, as I am extremely busy at the moment.

Chapter eight will be longer than all the last ones to make up for it, and here is a sneak preview.

* * *

START PREVIEW!!! 

In the kitchen Sakura was asking about the culinary skills of her 'helpers'.

"Who can cook?"

"…………"

Itachi (surprisingly), was the first person so break the silence.

"I can bake sugar cookies." They stared at him.

Kakuzu was next. "I can make salad."

Sakura looked at Kakuzu.

Second to last was Kisame with…

"Chocolate fondue."

… And last but not least was Hidan.

"Peas and carrots."

"…"

END PREVIEW

* * *

Don't ask. Review. 

Lina-Neko


	9. Christmas?

AN: Lots of random pairings. Longest chapter yet. I'm really happy so many people appreciate my story. I've currently started writing another story, and I'll post the first chapter soon.

* * *

Time: After time-skip (after Asuma dies). 

Rating: T for swearing and minor situations.

**Bold-Sakura Thinking**

**H: Hidan thinking**

**IS: - inner Sakura talking**

Underlined: Zetsu's black side

_Anything in Italics - flashback_

"talking" – talking

* * *

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto I wouldn't be writing fanfiction now, would I?

* * *

When most of the Akatsuki members gathered in the living-room after a call from leader they wondered if there was a mistake in their location for the brightly lit, decorated room before them couldn't _possibly_ be their dull and colorless living-room. 

There was mistletoe in every doorway (kissy, kissy), tinsel lining the ceiling, wreaths on every wall, and in the middle of the room stood a massive Christmas tree, decorated from top to bottom with lights, kunai, shuriken, tinsel, baubles, wooden toys, gingerbread and candy canes.

Kisame was the first to break the stunned silence. "What the hell happened to our living-room?

"My guess is that that, that damn Tobi got involved un!"

"Nah numb-nuts doesn't have the shit brains to pull this off."

"You mean it was the kunoichi u-."

Pein suddenly appeared and cut their conversation to an end. "Ahem… I have just been convinced that we will celebrate 'Christmas' this year."

"……………………"

"What's Christmas?" Everyone stared at Itachi, shocked at his question.

Kisame tried his best to explain it to Itachi." Well it's a celebration that you usually do in December."

"What's the point of this 'Christmas'?"

"Kisame will tell you later. Anyway for Christmas, all members must help prepare. Kisame, Itachi, Kakuzu and Hidan will help Sakura cook for tonight. Zetsu, Konan, Tobi and deidara will continue decorating the headquarters. Have you all understood?"

A chorus of "hai" answered him and some of them turned to leave to do their respectable tasks.

"And before you leave…" The people going paused (Hidan and Kisame).

"There are some rules for Christmas which all of you must follow. I shall hang them up on the wall and the punishment for breaking a rule will be decided by me. Oh and tonight we will be having a 'slumber party', so after dinner I expect everyone to come to the living-room in pajamas, with a blanket. Dismissed."

* * *

As Pein exited the room, his fellow Akatsuki members tried to make it to their designated tasks in single file so as not to have to kiss under the mistletoe… but it failed as soon as Itachi and Hidan accidentally found themselves in the doorway together. 

"Fuck no I'm not kissing Weasel. I'm not gay!"

"Would you rather suffer tsukoyomi (I think that's how you spell it)?"

"Ye…no."

"Then you must kiss me."

They leaned towards each other and Hidan gave Itachi a small peck on the lips.

"FUCK!!! I'M GONNA MURDER FUCKING LEADER FOR MAKING ME KISS FUCKING WEASEL!"

From the kitchen a shoe came flying and hit Hidan, successfully knocking him out.

* * *

-------Rules for Christmas------- 

1. You obey orders from Pein, Konan, and Sakura.

2. No fighting, supposed killing, or decapitations (got that Kakuzu, Deidara!).

3. No eating food without Sakura's permission.

4. You must kiss under the mistletoe.

5. All rules shall count until the 26th.

6. New rules may be added.

* * *

In the kitchen Sakura was asking about the culinary skills of her 'helpers'. 

"Who can cook?"

"…………"

Itachi (surprisingly), was the first person so break the silence.

"I can bake sugar cookies." They stared at him.

Kakuzu was next. "I can make salad."

Kisame looked at Kakuzu.

Second to last was Kisame with…

"Chocolate fondue."

… And last but not least was Hidan.

"Peas and carrots."

"…"

"Ok… I think we can arrange it like this… Itachi, how many cookies are there in a batch?"

"30."

"Hmm so you and Kisame make 5 batches of sugar cookies, and then make a big pot of chocolate fondue. Ok?"

"Hai."

"Kakuzu, you can make salad… preferably enough for all of us, and DON'T be a cheapskate and give us too little."

"…fine."

"and Hidan can help me with the main meal."

**H: Aw, fuck now I have to start talking to her again.**

"Hn."

**I guess he still hasn't forgiven me.**

**IS: He will forget in time.**

* * *

In the hallway… 

Konan was assigning tasks to everyone, while forming origami decorations to hang up in the hallway.

"Zetsu will make vines with flowers grow along the ceiling to hang up things, Tobi you will hang up Baubles, kunai, and shuriken along the vines, and Deidara, you will create non-explosive ornaments to put on the tree which you will then hang up. Has everyone understood?"

"Yeah, yeah." "Yes Tobi has understood." "Fine."

* * *

At about five, Leader announced that all of them had three hours to buy Christmas presents, and no missing out ANYONE'S present. Sakura was glad that she had bought all of the presents she needed already. 

Kakuzu wasn't so lucky and had a heart attack.

* * *

After dinner (I want to get to the slumber party), the Akatsuki (and Sakura), went to their respectable rooms to change into their pajamas, and fetched their blankets, well everyone except… 

"Fuck you bitch! I've shared the blanket with you for two weeks already. Get your own."

"Well_sorry_ but how the fuck am I supposed to know where you people keep spare blankets."

"You_could_have asked."

"Do you guys even HAVE spare blankets?"

"Dunno."

"… you moron Hidan."

"Here Sakura." Konan had come into the room and had thrown a blanket towards sakura, who had caught it easily with her awesome (coughcrappycough), ninja skills.

"Err… thanks."

"No problem."

**H: Shit. I was enjoying that. It felt good to fight with her again.**

* * *

While the two kunoichi chatted for a bit, the rest of the crew came into the living-room. 

Most of them looked around to the girls expectantly and as the kunoichi were still engaged in their conversation (why men are annoying, and what games they should play at the party), they either flopped onto the floor or sat on the dusty, ugly, and musty sofa.

* * *

When about ten minutes later Konan and Sakura had finished their conversation, they encouraged everyone to sit in a circle and then Konan explained the game while sakura went to the kitchen to fetch things needed for the game. 

"Some of you might know the game already… It's called 'spin the bottle'.

Silence…then-

"HELL NO."

"NO WAY UN! WE'RE NOT PLAYING THAT UN!"

"Tobi doesn't know how to play."

"I'LL SLICE ANYONE THAT COMES NEAR ME INTO PIECES WITH SAMEHADA!!!"

……………

It's safe to say that all hell broke out.

Until…

SMASH!!!

A severely injured Hidan was stuck in the three inch hole in the wall with smoke coming out of his ears.

"Anyone who protests will get the same treatment." Sakura's tone of voice left no room for argument, while the others looked at her.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR BITCH!!! I take off the chakra restraining thingy and you punch me into the wall?"

"…It was an example to the others, so they could shut up."

It unnerved Deidara how she could talk like they weren't there at all.

"Riiiight…!" Konan continued "So as I was saying, I'm sure most of you know this game… except, that we will be making some adjustments. If your bottle lands on them you HAVE to kiss them FRENCH STYLE."

'miserable silence'

"Good. You've all understood?"

There was a small chorus of yeses, Tobi has understoods, and hns.

"Riiight. Now lets see…hmm… Kisame can start...!"

Kisame gingerly spun the bottle, and it landed on… Zetsu.

* * *

Everyone stared at the two until they finally made a move and went into the middle of the circle and slowly let their lips touch. After about two minutes they drew apart, Kisame blushing deep purple, and Zetsu's white half was bright red (AN: OMJ!!! THEY LIKED IT???) 

It was Hidan's turn next. He slowly took the bottle in his hand, cursed all women in the world, and spun it.

**H: Please not Sakura! Please not Kakuzu! Please hear my wishes Jashin-sama! Hey since when do I call the bitch by her name? Oh well… please not sakura…………."**

The bottle turned it's rounds, and luck was NOT on Hidan's side because it landed ooooon…

…Pein.

Both of them glared at the bottle in horror, then looked at each other.

As they stood in the middle of the circle, they locked lips.

When they had finished, with Pein looking like he was on the verge of a twitch attack and Hidan, with a green face, they sat in the circle again, and both of them vowing never to do that again.

OMJ;Oh My Jashin

* * *

As the game progressed, Sakura got at least one kiss from Pein, Itachi (who, in the deepest recesses of his mind liked it), Konan (ewww yuri), Kisame (ouch), Deidara (who used his hand, much to the disgust of Sakura), Tobi (ADORABLE!!!), Zetsu (who had to restrain himself from eating her), Kakuzu (with his creepy tentacle tounge), and finally Hidan (which got a lot of wolf whistling and bright red faces from the affected). 

Some of the other popular kisses, were Itachi/Deidara, Hidan/Kakuzu (to the amusement of the others), Zetsu/Tobi, Deidara/Tobi (deidara would HAVE to get drunk to forget this), Kisame/Konan (Pein threw mental knives and daggers at Kisame), Pein/Konan (obviously), more Kisame/Zetsu (HAHAHA I laugh at their pain), Tobi/everyone I haven't mentioned, and Pein/Hidan (I love torturing them, don't I?).

* * *

After the 169th kiss, Sakura took the bottle back to the kitchen and Konan took on the task of explaining the next game. 

"Now… who enjoyed that?"

'crickets chirping'

"oh… right … then I'm sure you'll _love_the next one. The next game will be…

At that moment Sakura came back in and completed her sentence. "…_truth or dare_."

* * *

AN: I wasn't originally planning to put spin the bottle in this chapter, but I decided that I might as well. Please don't be angry about the cliffhanger. I promise to update soon. 

Send me questions, or dare suggestions in your reviews please. Wow! That rhymes.

_Lina_


	10. Dares 'n' Drunks

AN: I'm sorry I've taken so long with this, but I was temporarily banned from the computer, and my teachers have been very annoying recently (projects, tests, etc).

* * *

Some info about the relationships:

**Hidasaku:** Hidan and Sakura's relationship is built up on a really annoying saying in German. _"Was sich neckt das liebt sich!" _It means if a boy and girl continually tease each other, they're still in denial, and are showing it by teasing each other, but in reality they like or love each other, or they have no idea how to show their feelings, and express them that way.

**Itadei: **I know that Deidara hates Itachi, but even Naruto and Sasuke became friends after a while, so it would be possible for two feminine men to get together after showing no interest in woman in the series.

**KisaZetsu:** I didn't originally plan to put this in the fic, but due to my recent obsession with weird yaoi pairings I decided to use it.

**The last pairing is Pein/Konan which is self-explanatory.**

* * *

Time: After time-skip (after Asuma dies Kakuzu is still alive though).

Rating: T for swearing and minor situations (limes).

**Bold-Sakura Thinking**

**H: Hidan thinking**

**IS: - inner Sakura talking**

Underlined: Zetsu's black side

_Italics: song lyrics_

"talking" – talking

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!! (or Gimme more! That's Britney's!)

* * *

Someone wanted to know what the Akatsuki members are wearing as pajamas so here goes:

**Itachi: **black silk pajamas (aww he's not shirtless… I'll have to change that)

**Hidan: **white sweatpants (drool)

**Kakuzu: **Really cheap grey sweatpants (no mask)

**Pein: **rainbow colored sweatpants(O.o)

**Kisame: **jaws t-shirt and black boxers (I couldn't resist)

**Zetsu: **green sweatpants(is he black and white all the way down…?)

**Tobi: **peppa pig pajamas (AAAAARGH! IT BURNS!)

**Deidara: **blue silk pajamas (you aren't supposed to see his other mouth yet)

**Konan: **blue nightdress

* * *

Last chapter:

At that moment Sakura came back in and completed her sentence. "… _truth or dare_."

Ninth chapter…

The look on the faces of the male Akatsuki was indescribable. The mixture of shock, horror, and confuddlement (don't ask), was visible on all their faces (even Tobi's), and (almost) made the two kunoichi laugh.

"Now… lets start with… _Deidara_." Sakura, evilly smirking, handed him the bottle.

**D: Thank god, I'm not the first one to be dared… or questioned, un.**

The bottle spun and finally stopped on Tobi, who looked as clueless as ever.

"Truth or Dare un."

"Dare me sempai, dare me." (AN: Did that sound weird or what?)

**H: Fucktard.**

**D: Idiot.**

**IS: Wow. He's stupider than I gave him credit for.**

"Fine… I dare you not to talk to anyone except Zetsu, Sakura and Pein for an entire month un."

"… Sakura-chan! Tobi wants to tell Deidara-sempai ok!"

**D:… annoying brat.**

"Just shut up and spin the bottle, un!"

The next volunteer (victim), waaaaaas… Kakuzu.

"Pein-senpai, tell Kakuzu Tobi said Truth or dare."

**Ka: The idiot's not worth the money I pay to feed him.**

"Truth."

"Pein-sama tell Kakuzu, that Tobi asked how old he is."

"…"

"Well un?"

"I'm… I'm…!" Kakuzu suddenly looked like someone had burned money in front of his eyes.

"Yeeeees…" The others said, trying not to lean forwards to finally find out the question that everyone had been wanting to ask for years, but they hadn't had the courage to ask (except for Hidan, who was and is an idiot, and ended up being ripped to pieces).

"I'monehundredandsixtyfiveyearsold."

Pein decided that no one else apart from Itachi had understood what Kakuzu had said.

"Repeat that you fucking sissy."

"Who are you calling a sissy?"

"Shut.Up.And.Repeat.Your.Answer!" The Uchiha had finally snapped, as this game was just about as irritating as TOBI (if not more so), and his eyes were hurting quite a lot.

"… no."

"JUST DO IT!" They shivered under the infuriated Uchiha's gaze. His temper was getting the best over his no emotion-training.

Kakuzu under the Uchiha's very very evil deathglare, shivered and repeated his answer. Slowly.

"I'm one-hundred and sixty-five years old"

Utter silence… then

"BWAHAHAHAHA! You're really old you shithead."

"Shut the fuck up you religious zealot!"

"Fuck no you retarded old shit."

"Who are you calling a shit?"

"You! You dumb fuck!"

The rest of the organization (and Sakura), sighed. This happened every time Kakuzu and Hidan were in a room together.

Konan decided that their argument was a waste of time and spun the bottle for Kakuzu. The two self-proclaimed immortals stopped their argument to see the bottle land on Itachi.

"Dare." The Uchiha said, not bothering to wait for the question to be asked.

Kakuzu smirked. He had the perfect dare for the Uchiha. He would kill two birds with one stone, by humiliating Weasel-boy and completing one of his new year's resolutions before next year. Life was sweet.

"I dare you to pole dance and strip to the song Gimme more by Britney Spears, that includes your ponytail, and you have to smile seductively at the same time."

The look on Itachi's face was priceless. His jaw had hit the floor and he had gone fish-eyed. Pein took a photo with a camera. (where did he get it?)

This photo would be the first in an album entitled "Embarrassing photos of the Akatsuki".

Needless to say, the others were very amused, except for two very mortified girls…women…females, and a blushing Deidara. Kisame seemed unaffected. (He's seen it before! O.O)

"Oh yes and before I forget… pretend Deidara is the pole!"

All color fled from Deidra's features, and he suddenly had a very disturbing, yet sexy image of Itachi pressed up seductively against him. It was all he could do not to get a nosebleed and faint. Itachi looked indifferent to the whole affair, except that his eyes were betraying him by flitting side to side with panic.

Konan abruptly held out a CD-player to Kakuzu, smirking evilly at Deidara, who at that moment decided that he hated the whole organization more than ever.

Of course he still hated Itachi the most. Yeah. He did not have any sexual affection for the Uchiha. (Yeah keep thinking that! In short: You're in denial.)

"Deidara stand in the middle of the room!" Itachi sounded very irritated (after spending years interacting with the guy anyone would recognize that certain emotion in his wonderfully smooth voice-wait since when did he start thinking about the Uchiha this way).

Konan pressed the play button and Itachi started to dance.

_It's Britney bitch  
I see you  
And I just wanna dance with you_

Itachi eased his hair out of the ponytail while slowly strutting around Deidara and smiling… in a most appealing way to anyone in the room, although it didn't quite reach his eyes.

_Every time they turn the lights down  
Just wanna go that extra mile for you  
You got my display of affection  
Feels like no one else in the room but you_

Itachi had his hand on Deidara's stomach while he pushed his back against the Iwa-nin.

_We can get down like there's no one around  
We keep on rockin', we keep on rockin'  
Cameras are flashin' while we're dirty dancin'  
They keep watchin', keep watchin'  
Feels like the crowd is sayin'_

_Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more  
Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more  
Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more  
Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more_

Itachi started unbuttoning his shirt while grinding his rear end into Deidara's groin, while deidara let out a small gasp, blushing continuously.

_The center of attention  
Even when they're up against the wall  
You got me in a crazy position  
If you're on a mission you got my permission_

The shirt came off and the girls (and Dei-chan), ogled Itachi's beautifully defined muscles, clearly without any flaws, and the old ANBU tattoo that suited his graceful arms.

_We can get down like there's no one around  
We keep on rockin', we keep on rockin', rockin'  
Cameras are flashin' while we're dirty dancin'  
They keep watchin', keep watchin'  
Feels like the crowd is sayin'_

The Uchiha slowly pulled on his waistband with one hand while the other was hooked around Deidara's neck, his smile matching his eyes more, and his body swaying to the music. Deidara on the other hand was trying not to get too excited and was suppressing continuous groans.

_Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more  
Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more  
Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more  
Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more_

The silky black trousers came off, and were flung away by Deidara, who was totally caught up in the music, leaving Itachi dancing in his snugly fitting boxers.

_I just can't control myself, oh!  
They want more? Well I'll give them more, ow!_

_Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more  
Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more  
Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more  
Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more_

The boxers were now being pulled off, with the dancer facing his pole head on.

_Gimme more, gimme more  
Gimme more, gimme more babe  
(Danja, Danja, Danja, Danja)  
I just want more_

The tension between the pole-playing Deidara, and the now naked Uchiha was mounting as they stared into each others' eyes.

_Gimme gimme, gimme, gimme gimme  
Gimme gimme, gimme, gimme gimme  
(Danja, Danja, Danja, Danja)  
Gimme gimme, gimme, gimme gimme  
Gimme gimme, gimme, gimme gimme_

Feeling encouraged, the two started leaning in, completely oblivious to the rest of the world (which was blushing brightly), leaning in just to relieve a little bit of the tension that enharboured both of their bodies.

_Bet you didn't see this one comin'  
The incredible Ligo  
The legendary Miss Britney Spears  
And the unstoppable Danja  
Ah, you gonna have to remove me  
'Cause I ain't goin' nowhere_

They kissed, the tension leaving their bodies as the song ended, leaving both of them panting in the middle of a brightly decorated room with eight people staring at them with mixed expressions. Wait. Make that seven as one of them had fainted from a nosebleed (that person being Sakura). The other expressions were boredom, glee, fangirl-heartsx2, mischievousness, smugness and cockiness.

* * *

They were all temporarily blinded by the flash of a camera. In that instant the pair pulled away, and Hidan wolf whistled.

"Nice dick blind shit! Always thought you were a tranny."

"…" Itachi merely pulled his boxers back on and sat down next to the passed out Sakura, jostling Konan out of the way. Deidara just stood there, before he recovered and sat down next to Tobi.

The bottle was spun again, and this time, it landed on our poor, poor religious zealot, who was unluckily already on Itachi's revenge list, for stealing the last box of coco pops three years ago when he joined. No-one else dared touch them, as they all knew that the coco-pops were Itachi's and Deidara's punishment when the aforementioned had joined had been nothing short of cruel and disturbing. Now the time would come to enact his revenge upon Hidan, and he could simply use the recent circumstances to his advantage.

"Truth or Dare?" Itachi's ominous tone boded nothing well for Hidan, but, as attentative as ever, Hidan didn't notice the weightiness put behind Itachi's words.

But Hidan did notice the slight bit of warning in Itachi's tone as it was the same one Kakuzu used when Hidan was going to be cut to bits. He would rather risk doing something stupid than allowing the Weasel to pry in his life by having to tell him something which would most likely embarrass himself, and serve as blackmail material.

* * *

Wow Hidan can THINK!

"A fucking Dare you half-blind ass!"

Itachi smirked _ever so slightly_. "I dare you to wash Sakura."

Hidan paled. This was NOT good.

Having a slight panic attack, he looked pleadingly at Konan who only smiled smugly at him, with a look in her eye that said: you're on your own mate.

He tried to catch someone else's eye, just for _some _support, but no avail, as none of the others seemed willing to help.

With a sigh of defeat (much to Kakuzu and Itachi's secret glee), he went over to Sakura and picked her up. He threw a glare behind him at the occupants of the room and said "I'll get all of you assholes back! Just you wait!" Then he stalked off in the direction of his room, to get the embarrassing dare over with, and hopefully not sustain any bad injuries.

When he entered the room he quickly grabbed a towel, and quickly moved on into the bathroom, and started running the water. He also added some bubble-bath, because he couldn't be bothered to lather her in soap.

Then came the hard part: Taking her clothes off.

**H: Wait. The Blind asshole didn't say anything about undressing her, did he?**

Hidan smirked. So much for the all-perfect Uchiha.

So instead of undressing her, he just dumped her body in the now full tub, which quite abruptly woke her up.

**Slam!**

The next moment Hidan was lying on the floor, unconscious, with a red handprint on his quickly swelling face.

* * *

Ten minutes later, the rest of the Akatsuki were laughing at the wet haired kunoichi, who was wearing some borrowed clothes from her unwilling roommate, and Hidan, with his hand-shaped bruise.

The evening continued similarly like that with embarrassing questions and ridiculous dares.

(Sakura: "What's the most horrible mission you've ever had?" Kakuzu: "Seducing some fat old woman and even paying her to sleep with me.")

(Hidan: "I dare you to eat a mixture of clay, blood, something rotten and piss." Konan: "Eww no that's way too disgusting!")

* * *

That was until Kisame decided to bring out his secret stash of booze, and it turned out that a lot of them hadn't drunk much alcohol in their short lives. Mainly Itachi (alcohol messed with his mind), Deidara (too young) and Sakura (too young).

Therefore it was promptly decided that before answering their question, or doing their dare, the person in question would have to have some beer, some port, some rum, some whisky or a mix.

Within two hours, all of them except for Kisame and Kakuzu were extremely inebriated, as they had to drink a lot more to get properly drunk, which made them laugh at Itachi's attempts to walk across the room only to walk into the wall, and Hidan and Sakura's continuous arguing about random subjects (like doggie-do-bags).

Once Itachi had picked up on the three relatively sober people laughing at him he stumbled off in what he thought was the direction to his room, and Deidara and Tobi soon followed him.

Next Kisame decided to take the now sleeping Zetsu to his room, since Pein didn't want anyone to sleep in the living-room, and wake up in the morning whining in their ears about a hangover.

Kakuzu decided that he wanted a kip ten minutes later, and the only noise left in the room was of the drunken roommates' arguing (this time about music styles).

"Pwink shit wanna go 'n' schleep?

"'Kay."

The two stumbled off towards their room.

Konan turned to Pein.

"We need to talk about our relationship."

* * *

In the meantime, Hidan was having weird thoughts flying through his head. Booze always brought out his more sentimental side.

He stared at Sakura.

What was she to him?

Was she just Akatsuki's medic?

Was she just his unwilling roommate?

Did he like her?

Did he (dare he say it?), love her?

To Hidan's inebriated mind there was only one way to find out.

When he stumbled into the room, to see her lying on the bed, he went straight over and kissed her.

* * *

**Sakura's POV**

**I wonder what's happening back home. I haven't thought of Konoha in ages. What's wrong with me? I haven't even thought of Naruto or Sasuke. I shouldn't be acting nice to them! They're going to kill my best friend, and Itachi almost completely committed genocide! But seeing them like this… they're just normal people, and all ninja become killers at some time.**

**What are they to me? What am I to them? Do I still like Sasuke? **

**IS: Naw. Course you don'! You like hottie!**

Sakura stumbled, still in her drunken state of stupor, arguing with herself.

**WHO?**

**IS: Hida-kun of course! And he likes you.**

**I don't like him. And how can you be so sure he likes me?**

**IS: Somebody's in denial! Somebody's in denial! La-lala lala.**

**I-**

Sakura's mind suddenly went blank when she felt Hidan's lips upon her own. Her mouth opened wide with shock, and Hidan's tongue slipped between her lips.

By instinct, she rubbed her tongue against his and they eagerly began to explore each other's mouths. Just as suddenly as it had begun, Sakura broke it off. Hidan looked at her questioningly.

She now knew. The kiss had been her wake-up call. She would probably

"I love you."

He stared at her, stunned, and then broke into a wide smile, leaned in and said.

"I love you too."

They started eagerly kissing again, and went further, unaware that they had a spectator…

* * *

AN: Finally finished! Lalalalalalala!! I will publish the lemon to this (and the other pairings) separately. Please don't kill me. Or flame me.

Previews of the next chapter: Awakenings.

"_He raped us!"_

"_Konan and I have something to announce!"_

"_Kisame-san why do you have a bite mark on your neck?" _

_Lina_


End file.
